We all know them: Those kids who either bully others until they cry, or tear wings from small insects just to test what would happen. I’ve met grown-ups too, who actually behave like those kids, at times: Test others. Push them or try ‘pushing their buttons’ to see how they react…
I always thought that such people are suffering from fundamental character flaws: not realizing that torturing other living beings is cruel, a shame. And additionally probably even suffering from power fantasies: They feel ’empowered’ and important when they can ‘make’ others react. Even by torturing them.
It means: Causing pain deliberately. And it has nothing to do with fun, games or mild misdemeanors. It’s actually a lack of empathy. Maybe the patriarchal side getting in the way: Men are supposed to feel ‘superior’, self-confident. No human being in reality can feel that way all the time. That’s not only natural. It’s part of scientific research into such patterns of human behaviour and needs.
I have seen these things happen in childhood, was sometimes a target. I still now and again observe grown-up people behaving that way: ‘Testing’ their peers as it were. Perhaps even poking each other’s rips and smirking – if a little uncomfortably.
Because only in a few cases do they not know about the downside of it: Molesting, torturing or plainly causing pain is no child’s play.
Real joy in life is based on other, more ‘mundane’ and completely different aspects: Love, friendship, understanding, humour and trust. None of which can be built in a hurry.