‘A real man’, ‘a hulk’, ‘the hero’, ‘the fighter’ – the words and phrases are numerous, sometimes there seems no end to the ideas of what men should be like.
“Always cool, calm and collected.” “Women and children, the sick and the elderly to be saved first.”
What does that do to men’s minds? To some, at least, raised with the full brunt of this concept?
That a man is to be powerful, reigns the creation, the earth, and everything in it – including women.
‘His woman’. ‘His wife’.
For centuries that was understood: A woman is her father’s and later her husband’s ‘ward’, in modern terms that was in effect the legal ruling. She did not own anything, even when she worked or inherited money.
Comfort. A fine word. It evokes all kinds of images if we come to think of it. And men so long had to be the providers. Providers of food, shelter and – comfort.
Because, this indeed can be too much: Because, indeed, this is not human!
Every human being feels lonely at times, yearns for closeness, warmth and comfort.
But men are supposed to feel and be always superhuman? Strong, knowledgeable? The last resort?
It’s not possible to always feel that way. But when no one tells them so – how would they know?
And sick minds can be born by the almost schizophrenic concept: Be kind, understanding and calm. But also be brutal and a fighter and always in control of the situation.
Schizophrenia is associated with sickness. But at the outset it means a ‘divided brain’. Thinking and feeling are at odds. And if that cannot be resolved, we find cruelty and (near) madness in deeds and – online activities…
Let’s remember that war is just a phenomenon based on this image. Based on the idea of sovereignty and wealth being the most important and most attractive traits in a man.
These are images, concepts and they are not human. We do not need images. We need human beings in this world.
War is no solution. War is not destiny. War is not inevitable. War is not in our nature.
Conflicts are. But they can be solved if we really want to.