“A person after my own heart.” Another way in English to express that special type of closeness you can feel at times to some people: People who think and feel similar to yourself about life. That feeling often starts even before you have exchanged a word, yet.
But it is not always sufficient to feel similarly about things for a close and supporting/sustaining friendship. The knowledge, experiences and ideas you can share can be many – or just a few. You would want a person to accept and even understand those special thoughts. Be able to not only barely trace that thread of thoughts… but fully grasp ideas and feeling.
Apart from sharing values, of course. The good ones.
I have gone through many varied times due to the fact that I grew up in the German culture, am German by birth as well as upbringing – and at the same time not only studied Persian culture and literature at university – but also spent a lot of of my adult life so far around Persians and refugees in particular.
Such experiences and realizations as well as reading and ideas cannot be shared easily among any kind of crowd.
I also from childhood was raised to use discretion and care in choosing friends.
In the Western, industrialized world we tend to think that things or people are either ‘black’ or ‘white’, either ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
People, situations, life itself are usually not just that – but many things in between. “The truth is bitter.” That’s a Persian proverb and it is sometimes true too.
“Talk is silver, quiet is golden.” That’s a German proverb I translated and it is also sometimes very true. So many people talk such a lot on any single day. It can be heartwarming to exchange ideas! To share the heart’s burden! Or just make jokes in order to relieve life’s sometimes cruel dealings. But to know when to keep quiet can be an art, as well.
I consider myself lucky, I have seen hard times a lot, but I also met quite a number of good people, was raised by kind and smart and highly-educated parents.
That’s how I learned to focus, keep my calm, focus on “first things first”. Because if you try to do everything at once, you will at one point get the receipt, the bill in the shape of minor pains or problems.
I know how to take care of myself, because:
We are not just one thing – or another. People are more than just the sum of their parts.
Greetz to all of my readers out there who can relate!