Safety, Security, Self-esteem – in Business – and in Life… Standards and Self-confidence

Ballet dancer in mid-dance, elegantly poised, swan lake theme, white swan
Image by Niki Dinov from Pixabay

Self-confidence: It’s sometimes also called ‘coolness’, unfortunately. To my mind these two concepts do not have the least bit in common. Self-confidence, if it is real, knows about the good – and the bad – and therefore does not need to hide the latter.
Nobody is perfect.

‘Coolness’ very often comes with boasting and pretence…

To know about drawbacks and the small weaknesses of life can make us feel insecure: Did I do right?  Was it ok? What did they think about it?

In business very often the adage is to always show your strengths, not a weakness. There is even a saying about it: “Fake it till you make it.”

Men and women often deal very differently with the whole question of feeling and appearing strong and confident – or insecure.

As a tendency in many cultures and regions of the world, especially in business, showing off, pretending, is seen to be a manly thing.
Perhaps because men are supposed, since patriarchy ‘started’, to be the ones to always be cool, calm and collected – and in a fight, in war, be the ones to even give up their own life.

It makes me very sad every so often, this strange idea of war and fighting being inevitable and therefore needing to be prepared…

Reactions to that kind of feeling are different and very much according to outlook, perspective and background as well as experience.

That adage about faking it, though, can do as much damage, almost. Because people push and shove, if needs seems to be, to stay esteemed, a good worker, a good colleague and a knowledgeable person.

With it fear can start: Apart from existential fears of losing a job, or a loved person, or a friend – or our life, there is a fear of losing ‘face’, the prestige, the estimation of others.

Dealing with that kind of emotion can be a challenge, especially when we didn’t learn at some time to acknowledge it as part of human life.

Because feeling insecure, with the advent of adolescence, becomes a natural part of life.

What can help, is experience. And – in business – learning about standards:
Once we know what the average or good standard is supposed to be we can stand on that ground more easily. And, from there, get a grip on details – and a view and new perspective on the inevitable –

and the many, many good things besides!

That’s why lots of experience and training, with good breaks in between, will teach you – self-confidence, and understanding of the human side of life. In ourselves as well as others.

Nobody can be always cool, calm and collected.

Storms of Life – Peace of Mind and in the World….

In this day and age many people are surrounded by more and more digital as well as analogue devices and consequently, by impressions, news and ideas. Articles and blog posts (such as this one…) are added to the already huge amount of data every other minute.
I am glad that we have the possibility to retreat into ourselves. At least, I am one who appreciates it.

People on this earth are raised according to regional cultural tradition, to family tradition, sometimes religious ideas and last but not least, according to the latest global trends, as they are published on so-called ‘social media’. In actual fact, some of these trends are just born from the fear of not ‘fitting in’, not be part of the majority.
I’ve posted about this similarly before.

I have to admit I pity people who are unable to relish peace and quiet, because they cannot bear the thoughts inside. The ‘stream of consciousness’ that so many of us feel, sometimes more, sometimes less noticable.

Worries and sorrow can sometimes be hard to bear. There are numerous good ways though, to find rest for the mind. Sometimes it can be necessary to consciously look at all the thoughts that bother or worry us. Let them ‘float past’ though, without holding on to them.

Sometimes emotions can become so strong as to overwhelm us. Depending on what we have learned, it can be more easy to deal with that alone. In the company of people it may become difficult to just let go and have ‘a good cry’, for fear they might be worried.

But the laughter also, and the conscious use of wisdom, comedy and humour are crucial, especially in hard times.

I consider myself to be privileged in many respects: I have a job I like doing (see also my ‘About’). I have enough free time from it to follow other favourite pursuits, such as cooking, digital video editing, reading, music and many more.

I feel that exchanging ideas with like-minded people can be fruitful and joyful at the same time. Like-minded people do not ‘grow on trees’. That’s why I like both: talk – and peace and calm around me.

I also believe that any peace we have the chance to actually ‘live’ in our daily lives can help to increase world peace as well.
An African saying I like a lot, is said to run like this:
“When many little people in many little places around the world do many little good things they can change the face of the world.”

So, greets to all of you ‘little people’ with big hearts and minds out there.
Peace to all.

A Sense of Being – A Being of Sense – or Why to Not Have It All Can Be More

Wealth, fame, leisure, luxury – these things seem to present an irresistible allure. In former times, the most important person was the king, in Europe. Or an emperor. The nobility after that. The craftsmen and merchants also were well respected. Some had even more power, such as the Medici or the Fugger, who as rich merchants either bought kings and emperors by lending them money. Or even were lesser earls themselves, at a later stage.
At the heart of all this is very often the longing for appreciation. I’ve posted about that before.

But another yearning shows itself: what if the appreciation of others has already been gained?
Perhaps, if the appreciation and self-esteem are in place through upbringing or surroundings, the next step in a human life is feeling fulfilled…

The last Austrian empress comes to mind, Elizabeth II., former Bavarian princess and wife of the last Austrian emperor:
contrary to popular belief she was not the sweet and tragic figure who fell in love and then became sick and had to leave family and country for health. Tuberculosis of the lung is so nice and pale and sweet and bitter, it lends itself beautifully to the stereotype of the tragically dying young lady and sweet girl.

But this is the popular image painted in movies of the fifties of the last century, shortly after the war, when people felt a particular need for the perfect, glamorous world of fairy stories.

Most of her life she spent in travelling, and building little, playful kiosks and castles. Sometimes taking on enormous, life endangering risks, such as sailing in storms that could easily have killed everyone on board.

Wrote poems of longing and more or less sad mystery, spent a large amount of time on drilling her body and eating practically nothing in order to fulfill the idea of the most beautiful woman at a European court, she had been purported to be.
She seems to have been sometimes bulimic and anorexia was at the bottom, apparently.

In a way she seems to have been what is called a bird in a golden cage: with education and a comparatively easy childhood in the outdoors she led a life as the completely ‘useless’ wife of an emperor, her whole existence being geared towards producing an heir to the throne.

Once she had done her duty, she was little more than a decorative asset. A life like hers – driven across and around the world, severely exercising morning, noon and night, almost feverishly hunting adventure and dangerous risks – begins to make sense in this light:
a well-educated human being with creative ideas and not the slightest task or challenge to keep her agile mind busy.

So perhaps, not to have everything, may be the height of existence, after all.