Would You Be a Lady? – Corsets, Crossed Legs, Cinderella, and the Bad Back

Young lady standing on one leg on tiptoe, as a silhouette before a sunrise sky, arms raised, one leg raised, as if dancing ballet.
(Image free license by David Hofmann on Unsplash.com)

For centuries in many parts of Europe a very distinct idea of the true lady existed: she was never loud, never obtrusive, never swore, did not know the words to describe the bodily functions and if even a hint of the juicier sides of life was alluded to in a conversation, she would faint.

This changed in the course of centuries since the advent of the civil society, when first the equality of men was declared and later on the freedom of men, women and even slaves was proclaimed.

Step by step the enlightenment and women’s lib movement acquired a foothold in thoughts, ideas and finally in law: yet in the late 18th century, when the French revolution started a whole volley of changes, and equal rights for all men and freedom for serfs were introduced – women were not even considered, much less covered, by such laws.

As had been custom since ancient Greece and Rome, the law considered ‘man’ to be free and have the right to vote. ‘Man’ did not mean ‘human being’, but literally the male grown-up of the society. The eldest sons not even of age were often put to ‘look after’ the women and younger children of the house, when the father (‘pater familias’) was away.

Women were considered to be weak, a lady was something like a hothouse plant, to be kept under wraps, to be protected and hatched and not to be spoken roughly to. On the other hand she also was considered to be less smart than a man, practically dumb, less able to conduct business or study the serious subjects, such as high literature, medicine or law.

In the course of the 19th century this became even more pointed when a ‘writing woman’ was likened to a ‘monster’, in so many words, in articles of special ladies’ magazines, books for housekeeping and instructions on how to properly behave as a lady.

Well into the 1950s, the seminars and classes for young women were well known in Germany, to instruct the bride-to-be in how to take care of the man, cook, clean the house and dress, the so-called ‘Bräuteschule’.
Down to the crossing of legs, the conversation considered suitable and the poise of the head, the shoulders, how to hold cup and saucer, knife and fork.

The most cruel expression of this idea can be found in the German version of the fairy story of ‘Cinderella’: two of the daughters are encouraged to cut off their heel or toe to fit their feet into the shoes for the dance – to ultimately ‘catch’ the prince.

All this made for another kind of corset: the strict rules thus creating a restricted range of body movements caused numerous problems for health and well-being. Among them reduced blood circulation especially in neck and shoulders, legs and lower back.

Today we are lucky that in some parts of the world this has been realized and also leads to a potentially more relaxed expression of emotions and thoughts.
I still think an evening dress worn to a ball and the grace of a dancing woman is fine to look at, and feel when doing it myself – but personally I enjoy it so much more, when dress and shoes ‘fit me’ – not vice versa.


(Reused my own previously published content.)

Prejudice, Stereotypes and – Reality

photo of a heap of slightly disorderly cookie moulds in several shapes, in a nice lighting.
Traditional baking moulds, in some regions called ‘Springerle’ – Image by Th G from Pixabay

I feel lucky in many ways, in spite of a hard life, with a family to raise, and work and university studies in parallel; sometimes three of that kind of jobs to bridge the gap: a few hours each per week, altogether adding up to a part-time job. I had very educated parents, siblings younger than myself, basically smart and healthy. Loving relationships. Friends.

We all know about the downsides, usually, after some time: Life is not what they show us in advertisements or those types of fairy tales where they ‘marry and live happily ever after’… or that kind of Hollywood movie. Disappointments occur. Layoffs. You get sick – and well again. And learn your limits that way.

Prejudice? Stereotypes? What do I mean?
Aren’t men always… and women always…?
Is it not clear as daylight that people who live alone are out for adventure?
That ‘job-hoppers’ just cannot keep a job down and often are bored after a few weeks?

Yes. And: No.

The thing is: Prejudices can sometimes help to quickly order our world, judge people we meet and ensure that we feel up to it: the person, the situation, the task – or a message.

Mostly it becomes even easier when we can look down on them, or it…

But I am out for something else here: If we judge people or situations that way, we too easily miss out on them. The kind-hearted ones who are not all that they seem to be. The experience that although difficult in itself makes you stronger.

These days it has become a fashion that social media are used as sort of presentation not to say selling platform: Not just companies but also people, individuals, expose their private life in order to show how great they did. What they achieved.
That can make a difference. When we look for a job. When we are out of one. Showing our professional expertise.

It can create the idea though, that everyone else is doing fine, ‘by the book’… ourselves being the only ones who also face sorrows. Difficulties. Or worse.

“In sickness and in health…” part of the official Christian marriage vows: They put it there in a nutshell: Life is a mixture, of love, of friendship found and lost; of disappointments; of successes, smaller or larger – and all those times you just got back up again.

Nelson Mandela, former South African president and before that fighter against apartheid which after 40 years imprisonment he actually witnessed going under, put it like this:

“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

Life’s Lovely Layers – or: Keeping Healthy

red shiny apple with two golden heart shapes printed on it.
Image by Andy M. from Pixabay

There are a few statistics about people looking at health issues due to more than average ‘alone time’. It’s usually defined as being alone and feeling lonely.  That’s not uncommon, since we learn at some point that people are meant to be part of a group. A family. A group of cohabitants. Friends that have found each other. You name it. Numbers seem to have increased since the pandemic and the so-called lockdowns.

Love being at the bottom: feeling connected. It’s been shown that babies actually die when well-kept but unloved. Especially after WW II, but even before that, it became more and more apparent, when checking on orphanages and then-considered-modern methods of care that love is at the bottom: “[…]It was a meaningless task, as all the infants died. They could not survive without the caressing, the smiles, the words of their mothers or even their nursemaids.”
Quote from the cited blog entry recounting the emperor Frederic II’s the Great in Germany ordering to deprive babies from all tenderness and speech, since he wanted to find out, what language they would speak first.
“… all the infants died.”

It’s possible as an adult to be alone a lot without feeling lonely. But it needs some practice. Yet, ultimately human company is actually still very important. The voices, the sounds and the atmosphere created in a room by human presence beats all ‘digital rooms’.

We know that also from literature as well as research into what is called ‘solitary confinement’. It is a particularly cruel way to penalize prisoners and often very effective. Few only over centuries were able to safe themselves, due to some understanding of the mind’s working. Playing little games. With chalk perhaps. Or scraps of paper, a few coins.
Consider Alexandre Dumas’ novel “The Count of Monte Christo”: Indeed reading that will keep you at it: vivid and colourful. Human life in all its beauty and cruelty.

In most places these days that kind of imprisonment has become obsolete. But research into it is quite educating.

When you look at ancient systems of health, such as Ayurveda and Yoga or TCM (traditional Chinese medicine), you will find several techniques to centre the mind.

“Mens sana in corpore sano” is a Latin proverb from ancient Rome, apparently. It means that a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. There’s modern research that confirms this proverb. “Move your body, anyway you can.”

If you are employed you have the contact with people at work. Talking, working together, consulting. Yet, sometimes we lose jobs due to layoffs. Or cruelty of people missing out on understanding. Or the social skills.

When all is said and done, the more you know about mind and body, emotions and thoughts, the better you will deal eventually with being alone. But after a healthy young and adult life around people – even the less good ones… you learn both:
Be with people, in  moderation – and being without them, in moderation.

But also be aware – and not being a doctor or consultant myself, even more so, I like to create awareness: Sometimes, just as our body gets sick and needs the help of a doctor – so our soul may. Do not hesitate to contact professional help. It’s your best bet. Asking for help is a sign of strength.

Hearty greetings to all who read this and can relate. 🥰

“Curiosity Killed the Cat” – or: The Human Brain – or: “Newsworthy”…?

Drawing of a smiling brain figure, like a smiley in brain shape, on feet, with a face, lifting heavy weights.
Image by Riad Tchakou from Pixabay

“Use it or lose it.” That’s one way it is being put – about our muscles – and especially about our brain. When we do not have things to busy it with it will ‘dry up’ after a certain time. One reason why apparently in extreme situations such as being shipwrecked in lonely spots, people started to busy themselves with simple riddles and small games done with chalk or flint stones and twigs.

A very fine account you will find in the book by Alexandre Dumas, “The Count of Monte Christo”: Rarely was the dreadful daily routine of prisoners in solitary confinement captured with more details and vivid imagery.

The curiosity of human beings is an aspect of that drive: To constantly busy our brains with something so they won’t ‘run to seed’.

When you are raised to the idea though that nosiness is impolite and even disrespectful, you also learn how to busy yourself.
Even more: The Humanistic ideal based in turn on the bible’s adage to multiply your ‘talents’, makes it a matter of course as a grown, accountable person to take care of your faculties and skills and develop them.
(The bible’s meaning differs slightly, yet the underlying principle applies.)

So, in that respect with even a sizable amount of reading, experience and observation to my name I may appear to some to be a particularly ‘un-nosy’ person: I know such a lot about people and life, in several cultures even; have read since childhood books in the amount of a mid-sized library; I often know what is going on without anyone telling me.

Doesn’t mean to me that I would call myself perfect – far from it. As the German saying goes, ‘I cook with water, only, too’, just as anyone else.

But my brain does not need ‘input’ from daily encounters or the general, common human activities around me. I love family and friends telling me about what moves them or happened to them. If they like. I just don’t depend on it.

I love to respect people who feel differently; just as I love to be respected the same way. As in:
Peaceful coexistence.

A peaceful day to all who might be reading this!

War as a Power-game: USA, Iran, Threats and News – or: “Who Benefits?”

A drawing in golden-yellow hazes and simple outlines, showing a sun, a mountain in front of the sky and before the mountain a figure walking towards the mountain.
Image by Parsa Farahani from Pixabay

It’s a never ending story with this US-president: Threats, tantrums rather, like children who yet learn the limitations of life. “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”, a movie title actually. “Ugly” that is this sorry excuse for a man. Not because of his looks, but because of his non-existent character.

This war on Iran was a *sham* and a *shame* from day 1.

A sham, because it pretended a real reason for an attack: a nuclear programme of Iran for building weapons.

A shame because people are being killed every day for the greed and self-centred outlook on life people like that president and his followers have:

As long as you are rich and perhaps even powerful as a man you ‘count among men’… the  phrase originally meaning, people(s). Yet, actually, it’s only people of like mind.
They don’t know about the finer feelings, happiness or real companionship, friendship or love. They only evaluate lives from superficialities; more champagne… more haute couture gowns… for the wives they ‘buy’.
‘Buy’?
Well, in effect, money makes it, right…? (For the women of like, silly mind, that is…)

A few facts, once more:

    • It was the first administration of this person playing at president, who cancelled the contracts with Iran on Uranium enrichment control – in 2018. Those contracts were working. Confirmed by the IAEA, among others.
    • Iran’s oil recovery industry is the largest in the world – with some of the largest oil fields of the world beneath the surface of the country.
    • When Iraq was under ‘scrutiny’ and eventually the former president Bush jr. started war on it, the purported ‘weapons of mass destruction’ seemed the reason.
      • They didn’t exist. A fact also, for all who want to do research on it.
      • The dictator Hussein they later scorned was set up with US support.
      • He started to move towards more independence from the US.
      • So, they struck.
    • Oil now comes ‘on the cheap’ from Iraq.
    • The USA traditionally depend upon cars, ever since they became a household standard.
      The population expects to be able to go anywhere, any time, on cheap petrol…
    • The economy in the US has been failing after the pandemic severely as it did almost anywhere else.
    • If not by actually making businesses and people profit, what is there to do?
      • Start a war:
        • The demand for all goods appertaining to it will go up.
        • The weapons producing industry in the US is their largest and most influential… when demands for weapons rise, they profit. ‘Benefit’.
        • <Sardonic outlook on>: A few people less in the country won’t hurt him or those close to him and so… who cares? As long as it makes them more money?<Sardonic outlook off>

Wealth seems desirable, from the outside: It is being ‘marketed’ that way especially since Calvin in Switzerland and later the Presbyterians.

The rich and  powerful actually are rather lonely, often depending on all kinds of synthetic medicines… to show the ‘happy face’.
How can you be close to human beings if all you know about is being artificial?

Iran has a rich and extremely old tradition. They are a peaceful nation and population, with many original and unique languages apart from the official Farsi. The history of this country is fraught with earthquakes – and wars, because so many outside nations were greedy. In former centuries, the UK, France and Russia. Later, the US joined.

If anything, Iran and its people have learned resilience. They will not succumb to someone putting the pressure on. Negotiations are another strong suit, they own, from tradition.

Let’s hope that someone somewhere will come to their senses at last and soon and understand that this no way to go about it. Killing people, into the bargain…

Iran, Oil, War and a ‘Lame Duck’ of a President: If You Cannot Make Them Believe, Make Them Pity You…

A 'duck meet', a heap of small ducks for the bathtub.
Image by Manfred Richter from Pixabay

‘Lame duck’, the common phrase for a politician or leader of state who is about to leave and therefore not really effective anymore, power waning. But the present president of course will do all he can. The Washington Post reports…a threat against that president? Pityful attempt…

That newspaper is Jeff Bezos’ to do what he wants with it, has been for a couple of years, it says so on its homepage.

Yes, indeed, Amazon founder and Trump follower Jeff Bezos bought it. And we are supposed to trust such reports?

No way.

Let’s also remember a few facts about Mr Trump’s biography: He’s not only a scoundrel ruled guilty in front of a court of law of the US, he has actively swindled thousands of small stakeholders out of  their lives’ savings during the 1960s.

There’s a fine documentary about Mr Trump on PBS FRONTLINE, by Michael Kirk, an award-winning director, called: President Trump. A very painstaking assembly of facts and proven to be true by independent sources.

There was this strange ‘attack’ on Mr Trump about two years ago… ohh how they seemed to pity him; a mere scratch on his ear, not even worth an adhesive bandage.

Let’s remember a few facts:

    • The Trump administration cancelled working contracts with Iran for uranium enrichment control in 2018.
      • Proven to be working by the IAEA.
    • Mr Trump himself repeatedly in front of press representatives has called himself a ‘deal maker’. He does anything to get the other party to succumb to his terms.
      Commonly called ‘scare tactics’.
    • He is known to be a fierce admirer of Putin in Russia. (Link to the New York Times, as yet free press)
    • The EU as well as several Arabic states, have confirmed that negotiations with Iran were well advancing and looking up, more than three times over during this shameful war.
    • The USA are famous for their ‘free roving’ culture of cars around the country:
      • They need cheap petrol for that.
      • It’s also a well-known fact that no president who does not do all he can for cheap petrol has no good basis in votes – or with voters.
    • The industry producing weapons is the largest and most influential in the USA.
      A war opens up the need for more weapons…
    • When the last shah of Iran still reigned, he was actively supported by the US and paid them back with cheap oil. A historical fact easy to be confirmed.

The basic truth is this, let’s remember it too:

Whatever your colour, creed or conviction, you are not supposed to either bother, torture or kill other people. Period. 

A Pandemic, a President on the ‘GO’ and the ‘GOP’ Fighting a Losing Battle – or: The Wind of Change

A sinking statue of liberty in a stormy sea.
Image by AS Photography on Pixabay

The Head of the National Institute of Health at the time, Dr. Anthony Fauci, esteemed scientist, dared to speak up: Against the present president of the US who is famous for his desperate need for acquiescence and attention. The Administration in the Oval Office at the time for a long time just denied any threat by a virus – or a pandemic.

When it finally started reacting, measures were too little and often too late. Deaths would have been prevented. Dire emergency rooms’ bottlenecks, with triage occurring repeatedly: That method so dreaded by doctors and staff, when for lack of facilities and personnel you have to chose whom to treat first, with too many patients on the brink of death.

That was the reality in the US at the time. Now, the president ‘shortly’ to leave office needs any kind of reason to safe what is left of his threadbare reputation: A scoundrel found guilty in a court of law of the US on 34 counts, a cruel and greedy ‘potentate’ who tried almost everything in  the book, even figured in the Epstein papers…

This would be scraping the barrel, if he hadn’t already, this president whose name I rather avoid naming. Actually dragging such a scientist into court, a hearing; and then holding him in contempt.

The ‘GOP’, the acronym spelling ‘grand old party’ for decades wasn’t so grand anyway, when you think whom they support, whom they made president; or what they stand for. But this is indeed one more low point proving the principle:
Cannot be trusted. With anything.

If it wasn’t so painfully embarrassing for a society that has so much to offer in terms of art, science, music and literature – it would be hilarious.

 

Attacking Peaceful Crowds: NO – Our Society is MORE than Some Little Minds

Image of a red, heart-shaped burning candle on a red background, surrounded by many small red and shining beady.
Image by wagrati_photo from Pixabay

Christopher Street Day in Berlin: Attacked. One more attack on a peaceful gathering. There seems to be a suspect. It’s early days yet. Again, once more apparently motivated by extremist ideas, whatever the exact political conviction. We as an open and democratic, peaceful and diverse society, who know a thing or two about integration by this time, will not take this lying down.

I’ve been around people from all walks of life and from almost any part of the world you could imagine: All continents, many different languages and convictions, political or religious or otherwise.

But, one thing emerges equally and at once: People with hearts and minds for the essentials in life cannot do such a thing.

My heart goes out to all who were affected, losing loved ones in the middle of life! And the wounded: May they rise again, stronger than before and healthy in mind and body.

There are still people around with grudges. Or those who feel left out. Or those who were actually mistreated. But whoever or whatever reason, this is a NO GO.

I for one will always hold up my ideas, my beliefs and the knowledge that only together we are strong enough to defeat the bullies and greedy and misguided people of this world. Because:

WE are more!

Iran – Iraq – “Weapons of Mass Destruction” – When Patterns Repeat…

An owl drawing with mandala patterns all over it, a grey mandala pattern and a coast with red sand and red reflecting light in small water lines
Images by 경복 김, Mumtaha Tabassum and Barbara A Lane from Pixabay; my arrangement

When the USA decide on making war, they are adamant. That’s a fine quality in many respects. Yet, in war…? Or making it…? Why, really? After the attacks on the twin towers the US declared war on half the world. That attack was a tragic and cruel occurrence. But it does not provide any justification for shunning international law.

On the contrary: Laws are there for all of the community. In ancient Greece Socrates, the philosopher proved it by accepting a rule that was common then – and drinking the poison from a cup he could have avoided, as a punishment. He died.

When something goes wrong, the US are the first to claim their right, their benefit… the ‘rights’ of the NATO members, for example; that is they ask for and actually pressurize the others to spend more on their annual defense budget, 5% instead of 3%, as only happened around 1.5 years ago.

But: How often did – and do – the US to this day act cruelly against other nations? Without consulting anything but their own foreign interests? What about Japan?
The first and last time ever that nuclear weapons were used in a war. As a testing ground, more or less.

The tests of nuclear weapons in the archipelagos of Bikini they used, to spare their own country? The Bikini islands feel the consequences to this day. So nice and small and quiet and right there… easy to use.

Usage. Benefit. Profit.

That are the pillars of the US-American society and have been since their founding.

The weapons producing industry is the most important, influential and powerful there. And they benefit from NATO members ordering.

In 2003 the war on Iraq was started: “Weapons of mass destruction”, so the official message, apparently had to be recovered. Since Iraq’s dictator Saddam Hussein had apparently accumulated them breaking international agreements they had to be made safe.

To this day, those weapons weren’t found. That’s official. None.

Saddam Hussein originally had been instated with US support. He was their ‘vassal’ in a country that also has huge reservoirs of oil and gas. When he started to become too independent, war was declared. Eventually he was found and killed.

The oil wells burned for years after that. The country is devastated.

Any old lie will do.

Check your sources. Refer to books in libraries written by respected authors of the field. Check more than one important and traditional newspaper of (reasonably) working democracies.

Iran? It’s got oil. It’s got the largest oil recovery industry in the world. Uranium enrichment control contracts were in full working order until 2018, when Trump and his ‘cohorts’ cancelled them. But: the government in place since the revolution of 1979 did not succumb to US pressure.
Regarding their internal affairs that government was a poor example of a dictatorship ‘dressed’ as democracy, including all legal pressure, limitations and punishment as well as control into the bargain typical for such systems.

But let’s remember: The last shah had been instated by the US too. He sold oil to them at dumping prices. When the literally hungry and ‘huddled’ masses rose in the country, his power waned. Finally even his downfall and flight from the country was supported by the US.

The people of Iran are of a peaceful and also proud mindset. If attacked, they fight to the last. They always did. They do not sell  out their country for cheap bargains to anyone.

Looking at history as well as present ideas you can be pretty sure of that.
This completely unnecessary war has to be stopped.

‘Peanuts’? ‘Drama’? Or Just ‘Life’? – Pick Your Battles

Collage of two images, two people arguing in shadow and a female figure on a hill calmly looking at the dusky sky.
Images licensed via Adobe CC, my arrangement

Many little things can happen in everyday life. Depending on your outlook you might think that complaining about any odd thing is part of being – demanding. Proving that you have ‘standards’ and do not put up with everything.

On the other hand it has been scientifically proven that getting into arguments and fights often, ‘saps your energy’:
That kind of energy that you feel is missing after emotional times; such as important, life-changing exams.

When you want to stay healthy and keep your ‘nerves in order’ you may want to think again about complaining. About fighting because of small annoyances.

There’s that little interesting story in workplace psychology that those who don’t complain are eventually ‘killed’ – as in: let go – just as the chicks of turkey are  – speared by their mothers’ beaks because they consider the chicks to be dangerous strangers for not ‘crying out’; squeal.

I have gone through many hard times in the course of my life. Considering. I learned the hard way to keep my ‘nerves in order’.

So often, when we cool down we also will find that things are not that bad: Even deserve praise, actually. I learned that, too.

To change perspective can make all the difference.

“Pick your battles”. To live and fight another day.