diversity – Nina's Homepage

February 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Always Cool, Calm and Collected? – or: When Sensitivity Meets ‘Iron Man’

Two images showing a man running from water, biking and doing a run on the street, in a triathlon and a large canvas in oil, with a male hand holding a brush to it as if painting. — Images licensed via Adobe CC, my arrangement

‘Iron Man’ is the name for a triathlon considered to be the hardest to stay the course or win, of all, annually taking place on Hawaii. Thus the name. Yet, as so often is the case, there is more to it than meets the eye: To be an ‘iron man’, a hard, muscular ‘hero-type’ of man seems still to be an ideal especially for men to attain.

What can easily be forgotten is the other side to human existence: The finer senses. The fact that human beings do not just consist of a number of muscles to be trained and displayed and used in a competition.

Humans have brains and hearts. The heart showing by beating faster, breath going stronger, what we feel and what often if not always starts in the brain: Emotions, passion, fear, joy, or excitement.

Those who say they are never afraid, are either dumb – or they lie. (NB)

Fear is one of those emotions that is never to be expected of the ‘iron man’, the hero, the ‘guy’. Always be cool and calm and collected, that’s the way to go – in patriarchy.

A comedian some years ago put it like this, too:
“Anything men ever did in the course of human history was done to attract females.”
I believe he may be right…

That mistaken idea even some women still retain today – heroism showing itself like this: that men never should be sensitive, afraid, or vulnerable, is a great pity and a loss to our world.

Because many a hero was born for fear of being considered ‘too weak’. And the mistaken run for that ultimate goal, the ultimate ‘iron man’-medal can result in figures such as Trump or Putin: More power, more ‘say-so’, even inducing more fear in others.
To ‘cut a figure’, as the old phrase so nicely puts it.

I think that two things deserve our attention much more:

- The men that actually take it on themselves to have a family and care for them. Teach their children that a man is more than just a ‘six pack’…
- In general, face our prejudices and presumptions with some courage – and start to realize that neither men nor women ‘need’ to match all those criteria so often part of the cheaper type of movie or advertisement:

Always ‘cool, calm and collected’, always ‘happy, healthy and wealthy’… is just too much to expect.

Let’s start to be more human again. Although these thoughts and ideas have been raised before, being different, being an ‘artistic type’, or just being sensitive, still too often is considered unusual.
And still to this day the ‘hounds’ are called and let loose on those who represent in effect about one quarter of any human community: People very aware of the finer senses.

In other words as well: Let’s teach tolerance* to our children and grandchildren, respect for all those trying to make the world more colourful, interesting or just a little more joyful.

* “tolerance noun (ACCEPTANCE)

willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs that are different from your own, although you might not agree with or approve of them”
(Cambridge Dictionary, Online version)

December 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Prejudice, Perspective, Pride and Presumptions – or: The Surface Only?

Image of a bridge and some weeds growing through the iron grill parapet, with a glass sphere reflecting the image upside down. — Image by WorldInMyEyes from Pixabay

“Perspective is Key.” – “Pride and Prejudice”: The latter is a novel by Jane Austen, one of her most famous ones. Jane Austen was a lady and writer and wrote about what she knew best: The life of the landed gentry in early 19th century England.

The title encompasses a lot of what gets in the way of people knowing each other well, especially in formal surroundings, these days most often business.

The prejudice we grow up with or develop over time. A blunt example: People wearing black beanies are at least doubtful in character, perhaps some sort of outlaw – or even criminals…

Or: People laughing may be lacking in respect and subordination in a business context…

Or: People wearing comfortable shoes and clothing (especially women) are of a certain orientation in their private life…

Or: Italians are always passionate and easy to smile and make jokes, and like celebrating and joyful activities… whereas people in North European countries tend to be gruff and a little lacking in social graces…

Really?

Try meeting an Italian at night on a lonely road… or on the other hand North Europeans when you ask them for help – or around a fire on the beach with a guitar…

Stereotypes are often a misstatement of possibilities that have been generalized – too often, too long.

And they also can easily be abused to stamp a group or an individual with the sign of a brand, sort of: Difficult, avoid…

When in actual fact it’s the misogyny, or hatred of the other (better…??) principle, the person that might be considered a threat to ones position – or the simple envy of a (perceived) advantage over ones own existence.

Images and perspective are key, in so many respects.

That’s why checking your sources carefully can be crucial, not to say of the essence.

So much suffering, pain and useless effort are delivered and spent in regard to prejudice.

My father used to put it jokingly, and in plain irony:
“Those are the types that will not have their prejudices spoilt by fact.”

The way out of such pits of misery and their pitfalls? Since, misery is the real result of such thoughts and sometimes ensuing deeds:

- Find out about your own true self, all the good things and skills you own. The self-esteem.
- Try and change perspectives on your life and your peers now and again, even if for fun only and see what can happen, at times…

There’s joy and the good, lighthearted laughter in that.

November 28, 2025November 30, 2025

Change – Humans – Time or: The Very Human Element

image of a globe in the night sky, with a large group of people on ground in shadow standing in front of it — Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Change is a big word in business sometimes. I believe that we may feel tempted to expect fast and smooth changes in people every day, led by ideas in some pamphlets or flyers or even books or consultants… that say:
“If you do X and Y you will get there in no time.“

The thing is:
People don’t change fast or by a click. And that has its reasons too: When you are grown up you have seen parts of life even when still young. The more mature you grow the more you know that people need time.
That changes grow – a little like fruit on a tree: That takes at least months.
And animals, when you watch them you will find that they grow up and mature in some years.

Now, people?
We have complex brains – so they tell us (- ‿◦ ) and that means also that we start thinking about consequences at some point. The more the merrier… and additionally the history of mankind did prove that embracing the unknown, the new, the strange, could lead to dangers, even loss of your live.

So, what happened?
In essence people are ‘conservative’, in the true sense of the word:
They preserve the things that did prove reliable at least, and good in the past. Because that makes you feel safe. Secure. And more relaxed.

If change needs to happen in business it’s a good thing to calculate with that ‘staying power’ humans have.

A power that can be endearing and very necessary. And that can be overcome by patience, perseverance – and with very good reason(s).

October 21, 2025

“One Swallow Does Not Make a Summer” – Or: How To Judge – or Not…?

A table in a laboratory sowing several tubes, small glass bottles and testing equipment for chemical substances. — Image free via freepik.com (no AI involved)

In science you make a rule from thousands of occurrences of the same phenomenon… if it is the same. There are strict rules for creating new or even corrected rules in science. The same is true for the law, legislation and courts of law: In order to be sure of what you do or say, you have to be very careful of your facts, and your witnesses, if any.

That’s why in everyday life you meet so many people who judge often based on – almost nothing: One day, one situation, one occurrence, even a chance correlation of two events – and ‘lo and behold’ they make up a story about people, a place – or they pass judgement.

It’s easy that way: Passing judgement, on others. It makes you feel fine(r) about yourself. And you can stop worrying about your own shortcomings…

Well, it depends, of course. Because not everybody is the same.

Even the bible, a book full of wisdom, if you know how to read it, has that, already, Matthew, 7, 3:

“3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” (King James Version)

“3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (New International Version)

There’s the idea that two events occurring at the same time can be made into a story… such as a stork flying across the sky while a baby is born… Makes it – what?

“Storks bring babies…?”

Are you quite sure…?

Drawing of a smiling stork flying past carrying a baby inside a folded cloth in his beak. — Image free via Ecosia filtered search, Creative commons

September 23, 2025

Never Assume or: Appearances Can Be (Very) Deceptive or: The Art of (Not) Judging Your Peers

Image of a blue natural crystal stone, grown into a multi-faceted shape. — Image by Alana Jordan from Pixabay

Knowing your fellow man – or woman. In theory it is easy: Just talk to them – or look at them and you know. Right?

Wrong.

We only understand and really recognize what we have seen before. Of course, there are universal truths. Yet, there are also differences in detail.

They depend on experience. On discretion someone may have learned in the course of a lifetime…

I for one for example have learnt to be very careful with what – or whom – I talk about. Usually, that is.

So easily people actually jump to conclusions.
In those conclusions there are just as much ‘wish(es) father to the thought’ as the quote from Shakespeare goes; as well as ideas based on often culturally or individually dependent views and perspectives involved.

So, a wolf would expect a wolf to behave like one. Yet, when there’s a sheep inside – or a fox maybe, or a hare, or a squirrel, or a bear… or a bit of all of them:
What is the conclusion then?

When we want to know about people the first order is: Patience!

Although many of us conclude about basics of another human being inside of seconds, we still should keep an open mind:

So often, appearances can be deceptive.

August 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Communication and Culture: Writing, Talking, Listening… – Tolerance can be Key

Image of two women and a man from different cultures, sitting in a public place and friendly talking and listening to each other — Image by Grand Ath Thariq Kusmara Gustav from Pixabay

“You just don’t understand!” – That’s the title of a book by a famous social sciences researcher. She writes in a manner everyone can understand about the difficulties that can arise when men and women talk to each other. It’s focused on the US-American, that is, to some extend Western society and culture.

Most of us know how different and thus difficult to understand the approaches and outlook on life can be between the sexes.
Even more so, when there are similar ideas around, living and working together, where expectations are yet different in detail.

The outlook, the perspective on life, and other people can be a crucial key to understanding each other.

There are people with a quiet and withdrawn everyday behaviour. Who think for themselves, take longer to finally speak about their thoughts; or exchange ideas.

Others rather like to talk soon to someone of like mind.

‘Like mind’: Wonderful words, in some ways.

The person who understands us without any drama or long discussions. Makes us feel welcome and at ease. Accepted. Because we understand each other easily, due to similar outlooks.
Like minds.

There is yet another very interesting and yet basic difference in communication between so called high-context and low-context cultures:

- “High-context” means not so much a measure of better quality – it means that in order to properly understand what is said you have to know body language.
  The non-verbal messages that come with the words, the talk.
- “Low-context” too, is not a measure of lower quality – it means that almost exclusively words are regarded as the whole ‘message’ of the speaker. Facial expression or gestures are almost not taken into account. At least, not knowingly.

I have seen both: People who register every tone of voice or the lifting of an eyebrow in order to ‘decode’ the message.
And those who don’t. At all.

I also know how easily we all are mistaken in judging others: The famous story of the man with the hammer by Paul Watzlawick, a leading figure in communication studies, in his even more famous book: “The situation is hopeless but not serious” is ample proof of that way we all have at times to interpret others – willy nilly:

The man decides he needs to lend a hammer from his neighbour, thinks a while, remembers all kinds of apparent recent snides and strange looks, concluding a grudge, the other is harbouring against him – when he eventually reaches the door of the neighbour’s house, rings and the neighbour opens, screams to his face:
“You can well keep your hammer to yourself!”

Things can become more subtle than that, though: When we live in a close-knit community with some strict ideas on how to behave – it can happen that we become intolerant towards others.

A wonderful concept that can help a lot to more peace and peaceful coexistence:
“Tolerance”: “willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs that are different from your own, although you might not agree with or approve of them” (Cambridge Dict., online version)

What can make tolerance so difficult is the fact that we so often are raised with the silent premise of: “if you are not for you are against me” – The unspoken effect inside being even a (temporarily) shaky self-confidence:
We look for someone to confirm our uneasiness, or our hurt feelings. To feel we are not wrong. But right, in feeling insulted or even hurt.

This ‘comes with the territory’: Many of us get a basic idea of ‘right and wrong’, sometimes strict parents or elders raising us with those ideas. And no explanations of – or more subtle views on – the how and the why.

Or the even less-easy-to-grab concept of being right – and the other person being right too… in their view of a situation.

That we will not lose a point or our position, our dignity, ‘face’, when we acknowledge the other’s perspective to be understandable.

But, that is the starting point of more peace and understanding:

Practicing tolerance.

Starting to learn about perspectives and (apart from legal or ethical considerations) about diversity of beliefs, outlooks – points of view.

And still retain our sense of self-esteem.

May 23, 2025May 23, 2025

US-American Politics are Policies… Science — or Not…?

shadow shape of bird of prey, a vulture — Bird of prey – eagle? – vulture – Image free license courtesy freepik.com

These days the next step in destabilizing a democracy of sorts is being executed:
Famous universities are not only denied the government funds they have a right to — they also are severely pressured by hollow statements and threats:

That Israel’s hardliners, most prominent Netanyahu, are driving a cruel and hard ‘bargain’ in order to cover up their dwindling support among voters is clear to all who have studied matters for some time.

That other people protest openly against the Gaza politics is only to be expected. To put that in one with anti-Semitism is ridiculous.
Whatever your creed, colour or conviction, you are not to kill, harass or torture other people. Period.

The present criminal holding the office of president in the US, called Trump, has together with his ‘consort’, of course, prepared this for years.

What it amounts to is this: Destabilizing the legal, the administrative and the scientific pillars of a democracy are in keeping with his complaints of alleged ‘fake news’ whenever media report facts about him that are diminishing to his image as a hero — when in fact he is a convicted criminal.

Do not let them — or him — fool you: He is neither stupid nor insane: Just true to his past and ‘consorts’: incredibly greedy and selfish.

May 10, 2025May 10, 2025

Cruelty and Violence, the ‘dreadful Sisters’ — Remedy: Real Values: Other than Unlimited Wealth

Image of a father teaching his children by reading books with them - and 2nd image of an open book with two pages shaped into a heart — (Images licensed via Adobe CC, my graphics)

The founding myth of a society such as the US-American one is simple and as follows: Work hard or even harder to get rich — that way proving to all and God that you are favourable to God. Since the rich are God’s favourites.

That value is probably the most damaging and destroying one ever to be posed throughout the history of mankind:
All is fair — that is any means to that end: becoming rich — is good and even fair in God’s eyes.

Religion in general is one way of posing understandable values and rules for a society to live by.
It also fulfils the human need for transcendence, so the philosopher Fromm tells us.

When we are lucky, those rules are not just about limiting everything to a bare minimum — but about the real health and joy human life has to offer:

Combining heart, soul and body in ways that make you smile, like yourself — and thus enable you to like others (more).

And interact with a sense of community so the welfare of all is at the back of people’s minds.

April 6, 2025

The Apple and the Pear: Words – and Colours – Life’s Varieties

Image of fresh apples and pears looking almost the same — Original image by wirestock on Freepik, resized

“Dark yellow? Orange?” Words matter. Images in the mind are directly connected with them. That makes them so powerful. And so difficult to control:

Because that’s what can happen: People talk apparently about the same thing but it is only partly the same – as in ‘dark yellow’ or ‘orange’. You cannot always know what others understand of your words, your speech, or your message.

Equally difficult can be to really know what others might mean, even though you seem to be using the same words. Why that happens? Because we all grow up and make experiences in certain cultures and surroundings.

That way the associations, the images, that crop up in our individual minds can be different – even if slightly.

At times they can make understanding each other challenging, at least.

Of course, there’s the situation that people are well-meaning but make more of their own skills or their expertise than is actually true. And others even expect it from them. In interviews for job applications, for example.

When you then meet the exception from the rule, it can make it even more challenging and also interesting: To expect someone to be ‘telling tall tales’ and then find out that they hadn’t…