There are a few statistics about people looking at health issues due to more than average ‘alone time’. It’s usually defined as being alone and feeling lonely. That’s not uncommon, since we learn at some point that people are meant to be part of a group. A family. A group of cohabitants. Friends that have found each other. You name it. Numbers seem to have increased since the pandemic and the so-called lockdowns.
Love being at the bottom: feeling connected. It’s been shown that babies actually die when well-kept but unloved. Especially after WW II, but even before that, it became more and more apparent, when checking on orphanages and then-considered-modern methods of care that love is at the bottom: “[…]It was a meaningless task, as all the infants died. They could not survive without the caressing, the smiles, the words of their mothers or even their nursemaids.”
Quote from the cited blog entry recounting the emperor Frederic II’s the Great in Germany ordering to deprive babies from all tenderness and speech, since he wanted to find out, what language they would speak first.
“… all the infants died.”
It’s possible as an adult to be alone a lot without feeling lonely. But it needs some practice. Yet, ultimately human company is actually still very important. The voices, the sounds and the atmosphere created in a room by human presence beats all ‘digital rooms’.
We know that also from literature as well as research into what is called ‘solitary confinement’. It is a particularly cruel way to penalize prisoners and often very effective. Few only over centuries were able to safe themselves, due to some understanding of the mind’s working. Playing little games. With chalk perhaps. Or scraps of paper, a few coins.
Consider Alexandre Dumas’ novel “The Count of Monte Christo”: Indeed reading that will keep you at it: vivid and colourful. Human life in all its beauty and cruelty.
In most places these days that kind of imprisonment has become obsolete. But research into it is quite educating.
When you look at ancient systems of health, such as Ayurveda and Yoga or TCM (traditional Chinese medicine), you will find several techniques to centre the mind.
“Mens sana in corpore sano” is a Latin proverb from ancient Rome, apparently. It means that a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. There’s modern research that confirms this proverb. “Move your body, anyway you can.”
If you are employed you have the contact with people at work. Talking, working together, consulting. Yet, sometimes we lose jobs due to layoffs. Or cruelty of people missing out on understanding. Or the social skills.
When all is said and done, the more you know about mind and body, emotions and thoughts, the better you will deal eventually with being alone. But after a healthy young and adult life around people – even the less good ones… you learn both:
Be with people, in moderation – and being without them, in moderation.
But also be aware – and not being a doctor or consultant myself, even more so, I like to create awareness: Sometimes, just as our body gets sick and needs the help of a doctor – so our soul may. Do not hesitate to contact professional help. It’s your best bet. Asking for help is a sign of strength.
Hearty greetings to all who read this and can relate. 🥰
