Self-confidence: It’s sometimes also called ‘coolness’, unfortunately. To my mind these two concepts do not have the least bit in common. Self-confidence, if it is real, knows about the good – and the bad – and therefore does not need to hide the latter.
Nobody is perfect.
‘Coolness’ very often comes with boasting and pretence…
To know about drawbacks and the small weaknesses of life can make us feel insecure: Did I do right? Was it ok? What did they think about it?
In business very often the adage is to always show your strengths, not a weakness. There is even a saying about it: “Fake it till you make it.”
Men and women often deal very differently with the whole question of feeling and appearing strong and confident – or insecure.
As a tendency in many cultures and regions of the world, especially in business, showing off, pretending, is seen to be a manly thing.
Perhaps because men are supposed, since patriarchy ‘started’, to be the ones to always be cool, calm and collected – and in a fight, in war, be the ones to even give up their own life.
It makes me very sad every so often, this strange idea of war and fighting being inevitable and therefore needing to be prepared…
Reactions to that kind of feeling are different and very much according to outlook, perspective and background as well as experience.
That adage about faking it, though, can do as much damage, almost. Because people push and shove, if needs seems to be, to stay esteemed, a good worker, a good colleague and a knowledgeable person.
With it fear can start: Apart from existential fears of losing a job, or a loved person, or a friend – or our life, there is a fear of losing ‘face’, the prestige, the estimation of others.
Dealing with that kind of emotion can be a challenge, especially when we didn’t learn at some time to acknowledge it as part of human life.
Because feeling insecure, with the advent of adolescence, becomes a natural part of life.
What can help, is experience. And – in business – learning about standards:
Once we know what the average or good standard is supposed to be we can stand on that ground more easily. And, from there, get a grip on details – and a view and new perspective on the inevitable –
and the many, many good things besides!
That’s why lots of experience and training, with good breaks in between, will teach you – self-confidence, and understanding of the human side of life. In ourselves as well as others.
Nobody can be always cool, calm and collected.