Communication – or: The Man and the Hammer – or: Culture and Customs

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons, original title: “De postbesteldienst op het PTT hoofdkantoor. Sorteerders met de hand aan het werk, 17 oktober 1952”

Communication can be an art. In any way. In former decades, not to say centuries, writing was done, especially in business contexts, by specially trained people, sometimes secretaries and even assistants. In even more ‘former times’, they weren’t women, at all.

Since that time, the art of writing business correspondence was pushed towards women, around the time that the first typewriters became available.

After that, a longer stretch followed, compared, where women sat sometimes in large offices, in a veritable hell-hole of the noise of clacking typewriters, and wrote all the business correspondence that these days is done – via email.

Additionally, almost no one has a secretary or ‘typist’ to do their typing for them anymore. The letters back and forth in former times were taken in sacks each day in larger and smaller companies to the post. Or in whole cartloads, in internal mail, carted around by specially hired mailboys.

So, what happens? It becomes rather more difficult to define or identify the style considered appropriate inside or outside an organization.

And words matter: They create an atmosphere. They make images in our minds.

Yet, still communication is also a science. When we find in real life that we are misunderstood, it’s mostly a question of sender and receiver: To stay in the image, one ‘says’ green, the other understands ‘red’.

Paul Watzlawick was a standards’ creating scientist in that field, communication. He wrote standard works. He also wrote a bestseller of decades, his “The Situation is Hopeless but not Serious: The Pursuit of Unhappiness“.
Meant as a funny, sometimes satirical, look on how easily people get each other wrong and make their respective lives difficult. The story of the man with the hammer can be found inside it.

One or the other of my readers will have encountered funny as well as mundane situations of misunderstandings that could be resolved easily and with warmth.

Sometimes, misunderstandings can become more serious, when people do not talk about it early in the day. Or just rely on hearsay. Another miscommunication that so easily happens. A nice German saying goes like this:

“If a man sneezes at the top of the village high street, at the bottom of the village high, he is dead.” Meaning to say: Hearsay usually enlarges things – out of proportion.

So, let’s listen to each other, not to 3rd parties – and be patient. Culture and customs can make things tricky. But with understanding and compassion we will get at the bottom of them.

Would You Be a Lady? – Corsets, Crossed Legs, Cinderella, and the Bad Back

Young lady standing on one leg on tiptoe, as a silhouette before a sunrise sky, arms raised, one leg raised, as if dancing ballet.
(Image free license by David Hofmann on Unsplash.com)

For centuries in many parts of Europe a very distinct idea of the true lady existed: she was never loud, never obtrusive, never swore, did not know the words to describe the bodily functions and if even a hint of the juicier sides of life was alluded to in a conversation, she would faint.

This changed in the course of centuries since the advent of the civil society, when first the equality of men was declared and later on the freedom of men, women and even slaves was proclaimed.

Step by step the enlightenment and women’s lib movement acquired a foothold in thoughts, ideas and finally in law: yet in the late 18th century, when the French revolution started a whole volley of changes, and equal rights for all men and freedom for serfs were introduced – women were not even considered, much less covered, by such laws.

As had been custom since ancient Greece and Rome, the law considered ‘man’ to be free and have the right to vote. ‘Man’ did not mean ‘human being’, but literally the male grown-up of the society. The eldest sons not even of age were often put to ‘look after’ the women and younger children of the house, when the father (‘pater familias’) was away.

Women were considered to be weak, a lady was something like a hothouse plant, to be kept under wraps, to be protected and hatched and not to be spoken roughly to. On the other hand she also was considered to be less smart than a man, practically dumb, less able to conduct business or study the serious subjects, such as high literature, medicine or law.

In the course of the 19th century this became even more pointed when a ‘writing woman’ was likened to a ‘monster’, in so many words, in articles of special ladies’ magazines, books for housekeeping and instructions on how to properly behave as a lady.

Well into the 1950s, the seminars and classes for young women were well known in Germany, to instruct the bride-to-be in how to take care of the man, cook, clean the house and dress, the so-called ‘Bräuteschule’.
Down to the crossing of legs, the conversation considered suitable and the poise of the head, the shoulders, how to hold cup and saucer, knife and fork.

The most cruel expression of this idea can be found in the German version of the fairy story of ‘Cinderella’: two of the daughters are encouraged to cut off their heel or toe to fit their feet into the shoes for the dance – to ultimately ‘catch’ the prince.

All this made for another kind of corset: the strict rules thus creating a restricted range of body movements caused numerous problems for health and well-being. Among them reduced blood circulation especially in neck and shoulders, legs and lower back.

Today we are lucky that in some parts of the world this has been realized and also leads to a potentially more relaxed expression of emotions and thoughts.
I still think an evening dress worn to a ball and the grace of a dancing woman is fine to look at, and feel when doing it myself – but personally I enjoy it so much more, when dress and shoes ‘fit me’ – not vice versa.


(Reused my own previously published content.)

Life’s Lovely Layers – or: Keeping Healthy

red shiny apple with two golden heart shapes printed on it.
Image by Andy M. from Pixabay

There are a few statistics about people looking at health issues due to more than average ‘alone time’. It’s usually defined as being alone and feeling lonely.  That’s not uncommon, since we learn at some point that people are meant to be part of a group. A family. A group of cohabitants. Friends that have found each other. You name it. Numbers seem to have increased since the pandemic and the so-called lockdowns.

Love being at the bottom: feeling connected. It’s been shown that babies actually die when well-kept but unloved. Especially after WW II, but even before that, it became more and more apparent, when checking on orphanages and then-considered-modern methods of care that love is at the bottom: “[…]It was a meaningless task, as all the infants died. They could not survive without the caressing, the smiles, the words of their mothers or even their nursemaids.”
Quote from the cited blog entry recounting the emperor Frederic II’s the Great in Germany ordering to deprive babies from all tenderness and speech, since he wanted to find out, what language they would speak first.
“… all the infants died.”

It’s possible as an adult to be alone a lot without feeling lonely. But it needs some practice. Yet, ultimately human company is actually still very important. The voices, the sounds and the atmosphere created in a room by human presence beats all ‘digital rooms’.

We know that also from literature as well as research into what is called ‘solitary confinement’. It is a particularly cruel way to penalize prisoners and often very effective. Few only over centuries were able to safe themselves, due to some understanding of the mind’s working. Playing little games. With chalk perhaps. Or scraps of paper, a few coins.
Consider Alexandre Dumas’ novel “The Count of Monte Christo”: Indeed reading that will keep you at it: vivid and colourful. Human life in all its beauty and cruelty.

In most places these days that kind of imprisonment has become obsolete. But research into it is quite educating.

When you look at ancient systems of health, such as Ayurveda and Yoga or TCM (traditional Chinese medicine), you will find several techniques to centre the mind.

“Mens sana in corpore sano” is a Latin proverb from ancient Rome, apparently. It means that a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. There’s modern research that confirms this proverb. “Move your body, anyway you can.”

If you are employed you have the contact with people at work. Talking, working together, consulting. Yet, sometimes we lose jobs due to layoffs. Or cruelty of people missing out on understanding. Or the social skills.

When all is said and done, the more you know about mind and body, emotions and thoughts, the better you will deal eventually with being alone. But after a healthy young and adult life around people – even the less good ones… you learn both:
Be with people, in  moderation – and being without them, in moderation.

But also be aware – and not being a doctor or consultant myself, even more so, I like to create awareness: Sometimes, just as our body gets sick and needs the help of a doctor – so our soul may. Do not hesitate to contact professional help. It’s your best bet. Asking for help is a sign of strength.

Hearty greetings to all who read this and can relate. 🥰

News vs Life: There’s More to It Than Meets the Eye

Hungary, Budapest Parliament on the Danube – Image by Jo Stolp from Pixabay

These days it seems that the world is a dreary place, when you look at news. Nothing seems to go right? Wars, greedy heads of state and their assistants, such as Trump, Putin and Musk: Buying votes, making even more money.

Yet, although I’d rather avoid writing about it here and now, let’s remember: Elon Musk had received millions of government funds, partly for developing for Tesla.
When it turned out that developments failed and he would have had to pay back – he first turned sudden Republican supporter; and then a little later dissolved a couple of US-administrations that would have made his company fail altogether…
And that was not all by a long chalk.
(Links to CNN, Los Angeles Times and The Guardian, UK)

Prices rising, people being fired in droves, thousands of them.

Part of some problems is that pressure to make money: If costs of producing are high, you need to reduce costs in order to be able to keep prices low or average.

But I also like to point out this: When all is said and done, we have a world around us here in EU, that is amazingly safe from attacks, the ‘mugging’. Beautiful countryside, multiple cultures under one ‘roof’.
People who are hard-working and interested in developing ideas.

People, who know what it means to enjoy life even on small budgets. Who are careful and responsible.

Who know that love is at the bottom of it. Human life depends on it. It has been proven that babies die when well kept – but unloved. Grown-ups could despair.

Let’s remember too: News are being sold. And sensations sell so much better than the good things.

There are dedicated news and TV documentaries for the good things: Here’s a German one, called Good News from the Planet – Gute Nachrichten vom Planeten.

Life is more than just the news!

Apart from that we would want to keep to it – and remember about the breaks. (✿◠‿◠)

“Curiosity Killed the Cat” – or: The Human Brain – or: “Newsworthy”…?

Drawing of a smiling brain figure, like a smiley in brain shape, on feet, with a face, lifting heavy weights.
Image by Riad Tchakou from Pixabay

“Use it or lose it.” That’s one way it is being put – about our muscles – and especially about our brain. When we do not have things to busy it with it will ‘dry up’ after a certain time. One reason why apparently in extreme situations such as being shipwrecked in lonely spots, people started to busy themselves with simple riddles and small games done with chalk or flint stones and twigs.

A very fine account you will find in the book by Alexandre Dumas, “The Count of Monte Christo”: Rarely was the dreadful daily routine of prisoners in solitary confinement captured with more details and vivid imagery.

The curiosity of human beings is an aspect of that drive: To constantly busy our brains with something so they won’t ‘run to seed’.

When you are raised to the idea though that nosiness is impolite and even disrespectful, you also learn how to busy yourself.
Even more: The Humanistic ideal based in turn on the bible’s adage to multiply your ‘talents’, makes it a matter of course as a grown, accountable person to take care of your faculties and skills and develop them.
(The bible’s meaning differs slightly, yet the underlying principle applies.)

So, in that respect with even a sizable amount of reading, experience and observation to my name I may appear to some to be a particularly ‘un-nosy’ person: I know such a lot about people and life, in several cultures even; have read since childhood books in the amount of a mid-sized library; I often know what is going on without anyone telling me.

Doesn’t mean to me that I would call myself perfect – far from it. As the German saying goes, ‘I cook with water, only, too’, just as anyone else.

But my brain does not need ‘input’ from daily encounters or the general, common human activities around me. I love family and friends telling me about what moves them or happened to them. If they like. I just don’t depend on it.

I love to respect people who feel differently; just as I love to be respected the same way. As in:
Peaceful coexistence.

A peaceful day to all who might be reading this!

PISA, Cuisine and the Taste of Culture

Photograph of the leaning tower of Pisa, city in Italy.
Leaning tower of Pisa, Italy – Photo by Neil Howard on flickr, free to share and use

Here they are again: Ohh, so dreadful. Bad results in PISA tests. So? Let’s remember a couple of things first:

    • PISA was first created over 30 years ago in the US. I learned even at the time that it had been ‘tailored’ to meet the US-American system of teaching – and learning.
    • Also, the humanities and social sciences have proven by this time that learning and understanding is based on the culture you grow up in.
      That is a crucial difference!
    • The customs that exist in a culture in regard to learning and teaching make understanding even more different:
      • It has been shown that in India for example, same as in Iran, most probably among others, mathematics are taught quite differently from other nations and cultures:
        • Understanding mathematics and its ideas as well as the approach to solving its equations or downright unsolved riddles are focused on a solution with the right result.
        • In other parts of the world the focus is on the ‘right’ way of reaching the result, such as patterns of problem solving.
    • Remember how differently people greet each other?
    • How people treat children or seniors differently?
    • Ever tried their cuisine?

If you think of all these aspects you cannot possibly believe that the PISA studies are in any way applicable or apt to really realistically compare and evaluate.
Just as ‘off limits’ as the famous leaning tower of that Italian city, called Pisa…

Additionally, we just have put a pandemic behind us, with severe restrictions to personal and public life, over years. How can that not show its effects, especially with children who were/are still developing and growing?

And, most important of all:

Why would we want to?
Make all the same?
Is that at all possible…?

I for one am happy about all the rich differences of cultures around the world. If you love to travel, that’s probably why…

We are not all the same and that is great.

Forget about PISA.

Globe on a table set among spices and food with multiple colours and tastes
Image free license courtesy freepik.com

EU, Migration, Power and the Extreme Right: The Patterns Repeat

Image of the holy family in a small building, before a mountain in the background showing a city and its buildings.
Image licensed via Adobe CC

They are there, for all to see: People, who are desparate and flee their countries, a couple of thousands, who are not allowed to stay; and yet are not being ‘pushed back’… They shall stay in countries outside the EU, get support with papers and languages and be kept there?

And that is supposed to do what, exactly?

Since the pandemic we are looking at severe issues in regard to economies. Drought and heat supposed to be part of the climate change have this summer resulted in losses of crop.

And again, the governments of Germany, Austria, Denmark, the Netherlands and Greece are this moment negotiating with countries in Africa. To create ‘return hubs’ for people who tried to come here.

In former centuries Africa was used for resources and – trade: Slavery.
Many of its problems were created by the ruthless ways ‘European’ nations ruled and exploited the land. History has the facts. We still can access them.

Now it is used again.

This is cowardice and greed and craving for power at play: Find scapegoats you can hunt and push off.
That will apparently get people to vote for you.

Shame on this modern part of Europe, including actually Hungary, who are also, as some others, among the black sheep baying, baying and baying: Ohhh, how difficult…
Really?

With 450.3 million inhabitants in 2025 in the whole of the EU. With prospected 434.3 million in 2060; with millions of immigrants being brought here during the 1950s and 1960s who to this day take care, in health care, in business and production, in founding businesses themselves and bringing their children and education with them so that economies could flourish…

What’s so difficult?

But then, if you put them in ‘return hubs’, you’ve got them ready at hand… for future use…

I still wonder why they want to come here at all…

The ‘Holy Family’ is an expression well-known to all Christians. The son of God born in a stable…because they had to flee their country – and no one gave them shelter.

Well?

The Human Element in Europe – Numbers! – Statistics… and the Clear View of Facts

The ‘human element’ can be said to mean several things: It means all those things that are human in a highly technical world. That can introduce mistakes, errors of judgement or downright catastrophes, even. But fear and greed can be among them and these two are not to be trifled with.

How’s that, you may want to ask?

Because, when war raged in Europe during WW II, millions of people were on flight. They were desperate, hungry and often in clear and actual danger of their lives: dictatorships in Spain, Russia and Germany in place – and values and measures at their lowest points.

Overcoming fear, which means courage – can work wonders: We will not only learn more, experience different, sometimes tasty things; we also will keep innovation and science at high levels!

It’s been proven in scientific research (anthropology, archaeology, and similar) that cultures who close themselves off are doomed.

Additionally, all around Europe, the death rates are up, birth rates are down, a little simply but correctly put.

The above EU-statistics show too, though, that migration is a mere drop in the sea: 450 million people living in the EU, around 2 million having been added by migration…

Someone recently said it out loud and that’s a truth: When we start to become afraid, the oldest  areas of our brain become activated: the brain stem which is just able to eat, drink, sleep, or multiply.
Yet, the later parts are what makes us human, called neocortex or cerebrum:
We are able to think complex thoughts, develop new ideas and – empathise, because of those newer parts of our brains.

Fear is part of our older brain. It can make us blind to many of the fine things in life: empathy, clear thoughts and calm and clear judgement.

There have been people for ages, who use our fear to manipulate us. Who use a few exceptions to the rule to make us afraid. Images drawn in dark colours to make us believe that we are in danger from ‘strangers’.

We are what we are in this wonderful region of the world because of diversity. Of many different colours, ideas, thoughts – and emotions.

Let not have a few greedy and power-craving rascals and bullies make us believe otherwise:

We are strong and our values and ideas are rooted firmly in ancient ideas and are modern for civil societies at the same time.

 

Circadian Rhythms – “Daylight Saving Time” or: “My Way”

A music sheet with notes, and the shadow of a hand in front, holding a rose.
Image by Ri Butov from Pixabay

“My Way” is a song first rendered in French, actually: Comme d’habitude. The English version has the same melody but different text, saying that a full life can mean to do it ‘your way’. To me there’s of course community. Or the necessities of earning a living. But preferably with things I love to do. In my case that’s texts and technology, being a technical writer.

Yet, in my free time I like to listen to my inner rhythms. The ‘clock’. The necessities arising from an eventful professional life and other considerations, making it a challenge at times.

I’ve learned doing Yoga routines. I know about Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine.  Enough to know that being at one with yourself can mean:
“Less is more.”

Circadian rhythm refers to the fact that the sunlight and darkness means something to our everyday life. There’s a lot of scientific research around by now and they confirm the age-old systems I just mentioned.

It may also depend on the phase in life we go through which can mean that adventure or eventful days are aimed at.

But “the times they are a’changin’.” In other words, to be able to live calmly and quietly, doing the mundane things, really, such as writing here; exchanging ideas. Or have a fine, late breakfast on a holiday, with friends even, can be the ‘order of the day’.
Blissful living in the true sense of the word.

Rhythms.

Popping Up All the Time – AI, Its ‘Agents’ and My Equilibrium…

A human hand tapping an AI icon in space or a transparent wall, to the left the shadowy figure of a person with trench coat, Fedora hat and the face itself completely in shadow.
Images licensed via Adobe CC, my arrangement

“Agentic AI” – short for AI workflows you save or set up to reuse and even combine. A little like those macros in MS Office at the time they were popular, before their potential to introduce malware became known.

Well, it reminds me of those thrillers a little: In general, AI can be a help and a fine tool, no doubt about it.
But it also is comparable to knives. In the wrong hands it can do a lot of damage.

How Do I Know?

I am a technical writer by profession and documented AI successfully, with the support of a mathematician and other SMEs. That documentation in 2019 even was mentioned specially by the US-agency Gartner in their Magic Quadrant on Metadata Management Applications.

What I find extremely irritating is the fact that – agents or no agents 😉 – it’s constantly being pushed on me: Not just those pop-ups, but actual AI chat boxes instead of searches. Big, first time logging in, as if nothing else existed.

Paid services or not: I hate being forced to use a technology whose results are doubtful at times and have to be checked and checked backwards again.

I know that selling these days can be hard. Kudos to all sales and marketing people who try it anyway. These days especially where only wars seem to be able to let markets ‘look up’…

Still, forcing it on me is like trying to sell a cookie by forcing me to eat it… Imagine someone being allergic to nuts and having to eat a ‘nutty’ cookie…
Can drive you ‘nuts’… ┐( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉)┌