Image by Dorothe Wouters, and general content, from Pixabay
“Negotiate the hell out of them”… da…rn it. – I’d like to say that directly sometimes to the people concerned at present trying to reach an end to that war, that was unnecessary in the first place, if…
Yes, if people would do their homework, people in power learn from history, and those who know:
Diplomats, for centuries learned ‘at their mothers knee’ what is essential in any kind of politics you may want to conduct:
Realize that in politics it is about money, power and – 3rd party interests, those of your own country as well as those of others.
Know your opponents’ interests as well as possible.
Realize that it is about power-balance just as much as saving face!
The one-time elegance of manners stems also from here: Get to realize that treating the opposing party with respect and the usual formalities makes all the difference.
Learn to be patient! Patience – without giving up, or in – is the most important characteristic of successful negotiating.
The Thirty Years’ War in Europe raged exactly that: 30 years.
Whole regions were wasted and cities laid bare because of plundering, murder and legions of soldiers passing that had to be kept, resulting in hunger, starvation and more death.
The weapons’ industry and its entourage are the only ones – if they survive it – that profit from a war.
So, let’s keep telling them: We want peace, we want a power-balance, at least. We want that cruelty and useless destruction to stop, now.
The Thirty Years’ War took 5 years to end it. 5 years of negotiations.
Patience is the order of the day. Not more profit from yet more weapons.
“Perspective is Key.” – “Pride and Prejudice”: The latter is a novel by Jane Austen, one of her most famous ones. Jane Austen was a lady and writer and wrote about what she knew best: The life of the landed gentry in early 19th century England.
The title encompasses a lot of what gets in the way of people knowing each other well, especially in formal surroundings, these days most often business.
The prejudice we grow up with or develop over time. A blunt example: People wearing black beanies are at least doubtful in character, perhaps some sort of outlaw – or even criminals…
Or: People laughing may be lacking in respect and subordination in a business context…
Or: People wearing comfortable shoes and clothing (especially women) are of a certain orientation in their private life…
Or: Italians are always passionate and easy to smile and make jokes, and like celebrating and joyful activities… whereas people in North European countries tend to be gruff and a little lacking in social graces…
Really?
Try meeting an Italian at night on a lonely road… or on the other hand North Europeans when you ask them for help – or around a fire on the beach with a guitar…
Stereotypes are often a misstatement of possibilities that have been generalized – too often, too long.
And they also can easily be abused to stamp a group or an individual with the sign of a brand, sort of: Difficult, avoid…
When in actual fact it’s the misogyny, or hatred of the other (better…??) principle, the person that might be considered a threat to ones position – or the simple envy of a (perceived) advantage over ones own existence.
Images and perspective are key, in so many respects.
That’s why checking your sources carefully can be crucial, not to say of the essence.
So much suffering, pain and useless effort are delivered and spent in regard to prejudice.
My father used to put it jokingly, and in plain irony:
“Those are the types that will not have their prejudices spoilt by fact.”
The way out of such pits of misery and their pitfalls? Since, misery is the real result of such thoughts and sometimes ensuing deeds:
Find out about your own true self, all the good things and skills you own. The self-esteem.
Try and change perspectives on your life and your peers now and again, even if for fun only and see what can happen, at times…
There’s joy and the good, lighthearted laughter in that.
‘A real man’, ‘a hulk’, ‘the hero’, ‘the fighter’ – the words and phrases are numerous, sometimes there seems no end to the ideas of what men should be like.
“Always cool, calm and collected.” “Women and children, the sick and the elderly to be saved first.”
What does that do to men’s minds? To some, at least, raised with the full brunt of this concept?
That a man is to be powerful, reigns the creation, the earth, and everything in it – including women.
‘His woman’. ‘His wife’.
For centuries that was understood: A woman is her father’s and later her husband’s ‘ward’, in modern terms that was in effect the legal ruling. She did not own anything, even when she worked or inherited money.
Comfort. A fine word. It evokes all kinds of images if we come to think of it. And men so long had to be the providers. Providers of food, shelter and – comfort.
Because, this indeed can be too much: Because, indeed, this is not human!
Every human being feels lonely at times, yearns for closeness, warmth and comfort.
But men are supposed to feel and be always superhuman? Strong, knowledgeable? The last resort?
It’s not possible to always feel that way. But when no one tells them so – how would they know?
And sick minds can be born by the almost schizophrenic concept: Be kind, understanding and calm. But also be brutal and a fighter and always in control of the situation.
Schizophrenia is associated with sickness. But at the outset it means a ‘divided brain’. Thinking and feeling are at odds. And if that cannot be resolved, we find cruelty and (near) madness in deeds and – online activities…
Let’s remember that war is just a phenomenon based on this image. Based on the idea of sovereignty and wealth being the most important and most attractive traits in a man.
These are images, concepts and they are not human. We do not need images. We need human beings in this world.
War is no solution. War is not destiny. War is not inevitable. War is not in our nature.
Conflicts are. But they can be solved if we really want to.
Screenshot of NATO member states, current, taken at 21-01-2025_06-16-46 at https://www.nato-pa.int/content/membership-map
Yet once more Russia attacks Ukraine. Ukraine will answer in time… The news are often just a short glimmer of the actual blunt truth behind it all:
Just as in everyday conflicts, very often war is about power, about position, about prestige, about reputation – and about money as well.
What makes it a pattern too, is the way the opponents treat each other in frontline ‘reports’: It’s always the other party that is to be blamed. It’s always the others that didn’t make enough allowances or offered the real bargain to finally reach a truce.
And eventually an agreement to be observed by all.
Does anyone remember how this first got started? The idea had been that NATO after WWII would not extend into the East of Europe beyond a certain realm. In order to let the actual feeling of danger or threats be allayed in regard to Russia.
I still have to think of that little story I made up the other day about that situation:
A man lives in his house by himself, calmly attending to his (rather turbulent) internal affairs.
One day he opens the door and finds a huge, smiling hulk of a yet young, blonde, clean-shaven man with close-cropped haircut standing there – kindly looking at him, feet on his porch, legs wide, chewing gum – holding a machine gun. Telling him, with a broad smile that the man need not worry: He and his mates were just having a good time of it, doing nothing. Just brought their guns and tanks too…
Seriously, looking at maps, what would you think…?
There is no question about Russia’s internal affairs, i.e. its president Putin, being a cruel leader and dictator internally.
But this conflict did not start 3 years ago. It started long before that. And as long as greed and selfishness on all sides won’t make room for real negotiations, this will go on…
Image by Grand Ath Thariq Kusmara Gustav from Pixabay
“You just don’t understand!” – That’s the title of a book by a famous social sciences researcher. She writes in a manner everyone can understand about the difficulties that can arise when men and women talk to each other. It’s focused on the US-American, that is, to some extend Western society and culture.
Most of us know how different and thus difficult to understand the approaches and outlook on life can be between the sexes.
Even more so, when there are similar ideas around, living and working together, where expectations are yet different in detail.
The outlook, the perspective on life, and other people can be a crucial key to understanding each other.
There are people with a quiet and withdrawn everyday behaviour. Who think for themselves, take longer to finally speak about their thoughts; or exchange ideas.
Others rather like to talk soon to someone of like mind.
‘Like mind’: Wonderful words, in some ways.
The person who understands us without any drama or long discussions. Makes us feel welcome and at ease. Accepted. Because we understand each other easily, due to similar outlooks. Like minds.
There is yet another very interesting and yet basic difference in communication between so called high-context and low-context cultures:
“High-context” means not so much a measure of better quality – it means that in order to properly understand what is said you have to know body language.
The non-verbal messages that come with the words, the talk.
“Low-context” too, is not a measure of lower quality – it means that almost exclusively words are regarded as the whole ‘message’ of the speaker. Facial expression or gestures are almost not taken into account. At least, not knowingly.
I have seen both: People who register every tone of voice or the lifting of an eyebrow in order to ‘decode’ the message.
And those who don’t. At all.
I also know how easily we all are mistaken in judging others: The famous story of the man with the hammer by Paul Watzlawick, a leading figure in communication studies, in his even more famous book: “The situation is hopeless but not serious” is ample proof of that way we all have at times to interpret others – willy nilly:
The man decides he needs to lend a hammer from his neighbour, thinks a while, remembers all kinds of apparent recent snides and strange looks, concluding a grudge, the other is harbouring against him – when he eventually reaches the door of the neighbour’s house, rings and the neighbour opens, screams to his face: “You can well keep your hammer to yourself!”
Things can become more subtle than that, though: When we live in a close-knit community with some strict ideas on how to behave – it can happen that we become intolerant towards others.
A wonderful concept that can help a lot to more peace and peaceful coexistence:
“Tolerance”: “willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs that are different from your own, although you might not agree with or approve of them” (Cambridge Dict., online version)
What can make tolerance so difficult is the fact that we so often are raised with the silent premise of: “if you are not for you are against me” – The unspoken effect inside being even a (temporarily) shaky self-confidence: We look for someone to confirm our uneasiness, or our hurt feelings. To feel we are not wrong. But right, in feeling insulted or even hurt.
This ‘comes with the territory’: Many of us get a basic idea of ‘right and wrong’, sometimes strict parents or elders raising us with those ideas. And no explanations of – or more subtle views on – the how and the why.
Or the even less-easy-to-grab concept of being right – and the other person being right too… in their view of a situation.
That we will not lose a point or our position, our dignity, ‘face’, when we acknowledge the other’s perspective to be understandable.
But, that is the starting point of more peace and understanding:
Practicing tolerance.
Starting to learn about perspectives and (apart from legal or ethical considerations) about diversity of beliefs, outlooks – points of view.
Anyone watching the scenes that are public and published can state it that way: “More of the same.” It’s interesting to see that people behave the same way everywhere, just as Paul Watzlawick in his famous book called it:
“More of the same.”
He is a leading figure in communication science and has written standard works for the field.
The well-known, bestselling “The Situation is Hopeless but not Serious – The Pursuit of Unhappiness” was written with tongue in cheek, so it is the reverse of what you would expect. A tutorial how to do it right…to be happier. It’s revealing the patterns people repeat making themselves unhappy that way.
The patterns are there, not just in the book but in life – and in politics. Especially surprising it might seem as regards the war in Ukraine and the situation in Gaza.
Hellooo?
We do not need to repeat the ideas, statements and threats of the past 2 and 7 decades, respectively.
It is about dropping the ‘attitude’:
“Me (us) – always right.” and getting down to brass tacks. To the real thing. To negotiating instead of making a lot of noise. Or expecting the other, the person across from us to change just as by magic – because we suddenly decided that it would be the best way:
Just ‘let’ them give in…
It’s indeed almost as if people had taken some of the bad movies and fairy stories too seriously – and forgotten to consider the other person.
When you meet people in life they don’t behave according to your wishes – just because you tell them so.
No king will get that – and no dictator.
What you can do is: Learn!
Learn about humans, about the universal truths and the actual real things that make life fine – not bragging and boasting and ‘making it an act’.
But about community and the bigger picture, peace and – eventually kindness of hearts.
Because: That’s what real happiness is about. Sense of community – and kindness.
The great kings of the past still considered to be great were not the ones to make a lot of noise and war.
They were the ones to understand about people, that is, their subjects – and about life’s essentials.
There they all are: Gathering speed and momentum: “Illegal aliens”, “migrants” are being blamed for difficulties. It’s an age-old argument, and just as ridiculous and stupid as the ‘war effort’ and its ‘necessities’: Kill people into the bargain? Just because you crave money, power and attention of the wealthy circles…?
The patterns are there, in history, for everyone to look up.
There is a new effort at getting Trump to leave, an impeachment, perhaps… I wonder how long it will take until those blind wealthy idiots start to realize who it is that keeps them wealthy: Exactly those ‘illegal aliens’, among others, they now so furiously kick out of the country.
Millions to spend on that programme – send them out?
When so many of those ‘migrants’ work hard and thus provide revenue and profits, make more businesses that actually employ more people…?
Who else really makes the money? Managers? They so often start the problems, because while getting millions of severance payments the ‘little folk’ are left in the ‘clear’…
So, quickly covering up, blaming the wrong ones; making more war, because that not only sells weapons you then produce more of, employing people that way.
In the meantime you send the ‘little people’ to the front, to get killed. Cannon fodder. Right?
Yes, right-wing politics. Covering it up: The scandals and the mismanagement.
Why would you try and negotiate properly…? As the present president Trump has already got them almost where he wants them: With threats and scare tactics regarding tariffs and weapon deliveries, especially to refuse proper negotiations with the opponent, Putin, he has pressured the NATO and the EU into practically crawling at his feet…including Ukraine.
It’s unbelievable, to think that a region like the EU – or, just as much the NATO – lets itself being blackmailed by someone like Trump into basically ‘jumping through hoops’ at his command…the ‘wonderful’ summit the other day with NATO leaders, him included was the perfect stage to ‘butter him up’.
Who knows, he will probably one day manage to do to the US what Putin is doing to Russia: Make it a dictatorship. The Supreme Court Justices already do his bidding as well…
What a spectacle…
When it’s so obvious that the US are just as dependent on others as others are on them…
What would he be without the NATO – or the EU – or Russia, especially?
Is that all?
Of course, it’s been put into so many words ever since mankind has started to use money instead of exchanging goods…
Contrary to the song’s (apparent) message above, I am proud enough to rather starve than to make myself depend on anyone rich… but, not everyone is the same.
Mr Trump apparently depends on his money to buy and bully himself the respect and attention he craves sooo much…
The song really is pure sarcasm, of course…
When you look at research at the time, and contacts in between, between Trump and Putin, that is – when you look at the articles of the New York Times – since sadly the Washington Post has been acquired already by Jeff Bezos, amazon founder, and is not dependable anymore – it seems rather obvious: The rich and wealthy (the oligarchs* behind people such as Putin) are starting to divide it between them: The oil, the gas – and ultimate profits, namely those by war and weapons.
One thing is true too: When you’ve bombed them back into the stone age you can waltz in later and again make money on repairs and rebuilding…
Who cares? I do. Still.
The Swedish pop group ABBA put it into these apt words in 1976, rather revealing, really…
* “oligarchy, government by the few, especially despotic power exercised by a small and privileged group for corrupt or selfish purposes. Oligarchies in which members of the ruling group are wealthy or exercise their power through their wealth are known as plutocracies.” (Encyclopaedia Britannica Online)
* Oligarch: “one of the people in an oligarchy (= a government or society controlled by a small group of very powerful people)” (Cambridge Dictionary Online)
The principle is as old as mankind itself: When you want to get somewhere, you need to know two things, basically: Your finish line – and your starting point.
PEACE is some goal…
When it is a problem to be solved it is important to not just get a hazy idea of some problem or issue… a clear idea of the true problem is vital. Since, trying to find a solution without the clearly identified problem is pointless and a waste of time.
In other words: To get a clear picture of reasons for people doing something – or a system failing, you would look into history: Because it can help to find similar situations you can learn from.
And: Nothing in this life worth having comes easy…but that’s no reason to despair, but: “Keep at it – and remember about the breaks.”
We have come quite some way, in general!
In the past, people for centuries actually found it a great pastime to visit public torture and public hangings!
That has stopped.
In most countries around the world the death penalty has been abolished!
The most simple principle in that respect I have mentioned too, already:
Whatever you colour, creed, or conviction, you are not supposed to either kill, torture or bother other people. Period.
So, again, our goal as societies that have learned a thing or two about communities and responsibility – most, if not all of us yearn for peace: For peaceful coexistence. For more mutual understanding.
People in power these days once more seem, at the moment at least, have begun to realize that they are not just powerful for their own fun – or into the bargain; but that they carry the responsibility for exactly that kind of thing with them, each and every day:
Keep the goal, the ultimate finish line, in focus.
Start thinking it through from the end.
Get proper counselling.
Remember that you are not alone on this planet and that your ‘powerful’ existence as such would be pretty pointless without all the others around….
There are enough people who know that Trump is not to be trusted. Neither is the statement about ‘just’ wanting to destroy the Uranium enrichment facilities in Iran. Nor the ideas in relation to tariff raises for all and any countries outside the US. That’s blackmail, pure and simple.
To start a war on a country to pressure it into deals is extortion.
Even inside the USA people protest against his politics.
As far as Iran is concerned, I wonder how it is possible that almost any diplomatic respect and rules for negotiation have apparently let go?
Since when would you try and pressurize or scare a whole country into a certain position, when before you yourself made negotiations impossible?
Trump cancelled those contracts that had been agreed upon between the US, EU and the IAEA after 10 years of negotiation!
Is it really feasible that any country – how about the US? – would take it like a scared animal, run, hide and then concede anything?
If you do not know yourself and human beings you cannot possibly understand others. Understanding the other, your opposite at the table, is crucial in order to negotiate.
Again I want to remind us all of the 30-Years’-War in Europe during the 17th century: It was not only a long war, with a number indicating that – it took actually 30 years and it left Europe devastated and devoid of more than 50% of its population; whole regions were left waste and destroyed.
The common history and latent memory of humans make it one of the dreadful periods of time. It took years to end that war!
Negotiations were conducted again and again.
Finally, they were successful.
The same way the first agreements about Uranium enrichment control between Iran and the parties concerned took 10 years!
It was the height of irresponsibility to cancel those contracts!
Years later, a country under threats from all sides is moved into a position that leaves almost no way out…
People, start thinking: This is no way to handle that country and its situation!
Iran, for all its internal politics of cruelty and suppression, with reason is proud of a rich and thousands of years old culture and tradition, much older than the Islamic religion.
Additionally, they are used to natural disasters and foreign potentates from all sides attacking that country just for its rich soils, and huge amounts of oil and gas. They had to learn resilience and it has developed into a fine art, basically.
Starting a war can only end in dreadful consequences and more lives lost, yet.
